How to Gain Killer Confidence
Because nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent.
Gaining confidence is one of the hardest things one can achieve, especially in this cruel and judgmental world. With media photoshopping any celebrity you might look up to, to bullying taking place in any technological setting; no wonder it’s harder than ever to achieve confidence, especially for the ever-so-deserved females in our world. Here a few suggestions as to how you can do this:
Stop caring what others think of you: This world is already cruel of terrible people, technology only makes it easier for those people to hide without having to own up to what they say in person. Believe only those who have your best interest in mind. My mother always told me,
“if people are mistreating you and saying terrible things to/about you then that means they feel bad about themselves.”
She told me this in middle school, which were no doubt the hardest years transitioning from a pre-teen into a teenager. Questioning every social situation and who to actually call your friend. To this day, I have always thought about her words, and am no longer phased by the negativity of others.
Learn to value yourself: That’s right, who cares what people think of me? After all, I have all these amazing qualities that make me unique and valuable in this world. You too should be thinking of yourself the same way all of the time, even the bad times. When you learn to appreciate yourself and your self-worth, your world turns upside down for the better. Know that you are worthy, why wouldn’t you be? If you can think of reasons why you wouldn’t be then write down all of those ideas on a list, then burn it. After you do that you should take out another piece of paper and write down all your positive qualities, then hang it on your fridge or your mirror in the bathroom and remind yourself every day how great you are. Let go of the bad, bring in the good.
Forgive yourself and others: Did you do something that you still regret? Did somebody else ruin your life? You’ll never be comfortable with yourself if you cannot forgive yourself and others and move on from all the errors. The same goes for blaming others, which is always easier than blaming yourself. The past is the past, don’t bring it into the present and ruin the moment. The faster you can move on from that, the sooner you can be happy with yourself and what is going on around you. When you forgive yourself and others, you can begin to spend more time concentrating on the good stuff about yourself and improving if need-be.
Believe in yourself: Seriously, have faith in yourself and believe you can achieve anything and everything. If you don’t believe in yourself then how will anybody else? People can see right through you; they can tell who is confident and who is not. Without having faith that you can do it, you are automatically setting yourself up for failure. Don’t be one of those people. Get out there, take risks, stand up for yourself. Whatever it is, just do it. Even if you fail, at least you have gained the confidence that you were able to put yourself through something that that allowed you to persevere emotionally (and perhaps physically). You’ll come out a better and stronger person on the other side guaranteed.
Fake it ’til you are it: This is a quote that I heard from a Ted Talk by Amy Cuddy, Your Body Language May Shape Who You Are. It resonated with me so much primarily because I’ve done this myself. I was not born with my confidence, and people are always pointing out this fantastic quality that I have. However, it’s an attribute that I have gained over the years. Mainly by faking it in the beginning. I always wanted to be confident, primarily because so few women were around me and I looked up to women who were. I did not want to be a woman in today’s world without being confidence. I knew I wouldn’t thrive like I could without it. Therefore, in the beginning, and during my unfortunate times, I would just fake my confidence, over time it worked. Try it, give it a chance, you deserve that much.
There is a difference between being confident and being pretentious. I genuinely hope you can gain this vital quality that seems so essential but lacking in our society. You are an incredible person, why shouldn’t you think of yourself in that way?
